x
eddiec
Who's gonna save my soul now?
 
She don't understand life is short, and she don't understand I'm MICHAEL JORDAN!
To summarize my last four months: One of my bosses got bossed. So there's that. And there's a Jay-Z song about that. So it needs no further discussion.

But I've got a lot of shit to cover, since it's been an understatement of a while.

Seth McFarlane got a chorus of gripes and monkey shit for being satirical, especially by Yahoo! writers. In case you didn't know, this blog is dedicated to shitting on Yahoo, the people who don't know what satire is... but they named their site after a group of creatures from Jonathan Swift. Brilliant bunch of fuckers they got there over at Yahoo!

I thought that shit was funny. A great criticism of Rihanna whom my daughter thought was a frog. True story. (Long-story-short: La rana means frog in Spanish... she pronounces it Rihanna. I laughed for a long time.)

What is not funny is ABC cancelling Happy Endings, which is the greatest show since...well, Happy Endings, but it was the only show that made me laugh hysterically. Shame on Disney. Leave it to the Evil Mice to fuck up my life.

I'd like to begin this next paragraph by saying LeBron James is okay, but Dwayne Wade is a cunt. I'd also like to end this paragraph by saying Dwayne Wade is a cunt, and I guess LeBron James is too.

Anyway, you need to look up Wax on Youtube. His music videos are all humor from the mind of Def Jam, which he left because they took over his music. His unplugged songs remind me of Slug meets Sublime meets The Black Keys. Refreshing. Wax unplugged on Youtube. Now. After you keep reading.

I've found my raison d'etre. It's name is Sexual Chocolate by Foothills Brewery. It tastes like it sounds. Chocolately sexilicious. Like the way Lena Dunham thinks she tastes, but not the way she probably tastes. I imagine this being cigarettes, bleach, and cat's furballs. Oftopic, but needed to be said. Foothills is the shit. Get on that.

I watched all of House of Cards. The best scene is when Kevin Spacey gets all American Beauty Kevin Spacey on Zoey. Who's your daddy, pussycat!? Shiver. But it's a fantastic show that has the balls to kill a dog in the first scene. Ironic how you can kill a man, kill a woman, kill a child, but you can't kill a dog. People will lose their marbles (cue Sarah McLaughlin).

So Obama... just go back four paragraphs. End.

And Kanye West... go back five paragraphs. End.

And Ted Turner just to be fair. Six paragraphs. Aren't you glad you paid attention in math class?

The Killing got confusing as who's who in Kim Kardashian, so I stopped watching. Like that long basketball commercial during the Jay-Z game a couple nights ago. And who knew that Uncle Psi was in Z's crew? Not only his crew, but his fucking couch.

Well... the game's about to begin, so go USA. If you're not watching, I've got something to entertain your for a while. Just write a blog but keep an eye on "Suggested Tags" and you'll see some interesting shit. Examples: Kill Michael Moore, Kill Evil Instantly, Kill People...

Say what?

This is Frank Turner. I was going to write about musicals, but he speaks so well about that same topic here, so I'll leave it to him. Followed by badass song that's Queen meets Flogging Molly and 90's punk rock. Cheers!


No Rabble Rousers - Rabble
 
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