Who's gonna save my soul now?

Has anyone been to the library lately? They have these awesome archaic things called books. They've got CDs. They've got DVDs. And the best part... They're free!

I would hope everyone who watches an ounce of television has seen LOST. Now I've known people who hated the show. But the thing is they had never seen it. My brother and sister-in-law saw it, and they love it. So do yourself (and all of us) a favor, watch the show, and help us figure out what the hell is going on!

Tragic Kingdom. Great album.

For those who sit around all day with nothing to do, make dinner. It's not all that difficult depending on what you make. And people love food. So imagine how they feel about you when you present them with baked ziti, homemade meatballs, or apple pie.

Speaking of apple pie...

One of the things I love the most is when you're driving and you let someone in your lane. And then a miracle happens. They wave as if to say "thank you, thank you very much." No, thank YOU.

Target is amazing. Super Target that is. Especially super targets that have escalators. Seriously, take your husband, take your grandma, take the whole family. You gotta see this.

Brixx Oven Pizza in Uptown Charlotte. Monday nights they have 2.50 domestics and the greatest beer on the planet. Red oak. Freakin' mmm. Not to mention some good pizza, too. Imagine that.

Sex, Drugs, and Cocoa Puffs by Chuck Klosterman. Even if you hate reading, go to the library and get this. Don't worry, they went away with card catalogs and made the Dewey Decimal System a little easier. They have search engines now. And the book is hilarious. Especially since he has the same daunting opinion of Coldplay that I do.

For those people who were born in the 80's, don't be ashamed of the 90's. Harness the 90's. Bring it back. Great example, pogs. Sure, its capitalism at its worst, but it was fun wasn't it?

Moving back another decade, why not go to your local DVD store and buy the first season of The Wonder Years. Or if you're lazy, you can just get the final season when Kevin Arnold and Winnie Cooper finally get it on.

Going on a walk. See nature. Lose some calories. Spy on your neighbors. It's all good.

Go to the library, travel to the CD section and look under Q for Queen. If there's something there, grab it. Freddy Mercury knows how to get a party started. Wear protection.

Watch an old movie. Like Lawrence of Arabia or Ben-Hur. It'll put you right to sleep. Any movie that has an intermission is an automatic put-you-to-sleeper. That and you can say you watched it. All your friends will think you're well cultured and sophisticated.

The Road by Cormac McCarthy. Greatest book of the last quarter century. The guy's got talent. And he used the word "wonky." Now that's just cool. There's a movie of the same name coming out sooner or later. But read the book beforehand. You know where to go.

Not washing your car. Only if its black. Saves time. Saves money.

I'm not into video games, but I've grown fond of my Ninetendo Wii. I think its because I can play Super Mario 3. Bow to frog mario.

Why is it that Baby Boomers think they're the shit? Led Zeppelin. The end.

Wall-E. Give it up to the best movie of 2008. Kind of sad, really, but its all we were given.

Making fun of Iron Man. If you're like me and loathed this movie as much as I did, find the Iron Man fan closest to you and say "Iron Man sucks." They'll just say, "Nooooo!" cause that's all they've got. Smile. You won, champ. Now go watch Wall-E.

Soberism is the root of all evil. So please, if you're getting married, do a favor to everyone attending. Open bar. Your wedding will be remembered forever. Congratulations.

Are you getting tired of old people breakfast food like English muffins, granola bars, and Cream of Wheat? Don't be afraid. Go to Super Target, ride the escalator, and get yourself some Count Chocula, Cookie Crunch, and Fruity Pebbles. Thank me later.

Don't Stop Believing! Hold on to that feeling.

If you want to be cool just like me. Next time you have a party, make sure you have Virtual Insanity on your Ipod. Turn it on. Now, dance white boy.

Speaking on dancing, have you seen So You Think You Can Dance? My wife and I love this show. Wish I could say the same about Mary Murphy, though.

Gossip Girl is on at 8? Yeah, right. They probably get sued by the FCC and some "mothers" group after each episode. But seriously, its not bad. Chuck Bass is evil. Not quite Ben from LOST evil, but evil, indeed.

Black Ice is the newest AC/DC album, and it does nothing short of make you want to get drunk with your buddies and rock on. It's no Back in Black, but it sure is a hell of a lot more than Chinese Democracy.

Viva la air guitar.

I don't like Charlie Sheen as a person, but his show Two and a Half Men is the greatest thing since apple pie.

Did I mention apple pie? Ok. Pumpkin pie.

Speaking of pumpkin, how about those pumpkin cookies Steph makes? Dee-lish.

Flight of the Conchords. I've never seen it. I just want to be like those HBO nerds.

Bond Theme Songs usually suck. I mean when Madonna is making Bond themes, you've reached a new low. But Chris Cornell's "You Know My Name" is such a badass song, I tip my hat to you. Oh, and happy trails to your music career.

Creedence Clearwater Revival's music will forever be timeless. Anyone who says bouynin' is cool in my book.

Honda. There's nothing like making your friends your bitches because their cars are broken down in the driveway and yours isn't. Muahaha.

Great Britain. They have a monopoly on classic, badass rock bands. Some of which I didn't even know were Brittish. Damn you, Eric Clapton.

You know what is really fun is going to a community that isn't finished with construction yet and just chilling inside.

I don't know if you've ever tried it, but voting has this majestic thing about it that I don't really understand. I just do it. I love voting for third party, too. No vote is a wasted vote.

Apples to Apples is a genius game, though it really sucks when you're playing with a kid under the age of 16 and you have the perfect card for "juicy."

Pokerstars. There's nothing like getting screwed every night.

Finding words that rhyme with "orange." Or just eating one.

One of my favorite things is skipping the game when your favorite team is already out of the playoffs to go to the mall or doing whatever with your significant other. You come home to find out they lost anyway. And you'll reap benefits. Cheers, dudes.

"Telegraph Road" by Dire Straits. I always thought "Sultans of Swing" was their best song. But there's nothing better than that extreme build-up and super-riff at the end.

Calling your mom every once in a while. You want her on your side.

I also find pleasure in randomly being nice to people you hate. They're confused, you're happy.

I also find pleasure in pretending to like techno music. I feel like one of those cool European people... nevermind. I take that back. There's no sense in being annoyed.

Once your party is over and your friends are sobering up (except for the dude throwing up on your favorite pair of shoes), put on some American Pie by Don McLean and sing. Everyone knows the words. Yes, there's nothing like bonding.

The war between potato salad and tuna salad will be over soon. And I gotta go with the potato.

Inserting your own words into lyrics is fun when people don't know the real words. Just sing over it. Now you've got them! "Bliiinded by the light! Cut loose like a douche, another runner in the night!"