Who's gonna save my soul now?

Whitney who? The Beastie Boys lost a beast. MCA has died. Hotsaucecommittee Pt. 2 was probably the best rap album to come out in a long time. Best rap satire ever.

Mega bummed feeling like Michael Moore's toilet bowl. Beastie Boys the next two weeks.

Okay, so here's how Desperate Housewives will end.

The ladies will shoot up the police station and rescue Brie. They'll knock out a guard with a frozen leg of lamb, Mary Maloney style. And the last words of the show will be...

Let's go bitches. [Brie looks at her fellow bitches...]
I've got muffins in the oven.

The end.

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."

That saying bothers the hell out of me. I can think of more scenarios than there are words in the English language. Getting your eyes gouged out with an ice pick is one. Unless you were simultaneously lifting weights or were forced to take steroids as treatment, your ass is not stronger.

What also pisses me the fuck off is the douchebag who parked his Corvette sideways over two spots. I wanted to bash in his fucking windows with a sledgehammer then stick a gas-soaked face cloth in his tank and light it on fire and walk away to "Make Some Noise" by Beastie Boys. Does anyone else feel like a badass TV character when other people look at you?

There's a live version of "Rolling in the Deep" by Linkin Park guy with talent and he sounds like a girl. It's fucking breathtaking.

We are taking a second look at a house. I've been stress eating like crazy. I've at more than Lady Gaga eats in a year. I fucked up making a quesadilla too. I wanted to cry.

I'm going to see Dave Matthews live next month or the month after or something. I don't do calendars. But I'm super fucking excited. I have my own set list I'm going to send him. Not really, I'm not that demanding, but there's just three people I want to see live: Dave, Noel Gallagher, and Thom Yorke. I've heard that this is Dave's last tour, so booya. Noel Gallagher will never come to Charlotte. And Thom hasn't come since 2007. And in case you didn't know, I used to hate Radiohead. I have no idea why. But they're fucking amazing and Thom is probably the best lyricist ever as far as figurative language.

Anyway, I had a dream last night and it may be a metaphor for something, but I have to figure it out.

So I'm in a mansion. Dark wood flooring and shit. A few set of friends are there. And there's methamphetamine from God-knows-where, but my wife wants some. I managed to prevent her from getting her hands, veins, and nose on some by reminding her we have to look at houses tomorrow and it would be difficult to do on meth. It worked. So I knew I was sleeping from that point.

My friend Colette, an extremely shy girl and the last kind of person to get within 20,000 square feet of meth,  was all over that shit. Her sister was too. And they went fucking berserk. That's when the setting magically changed like the LOST island and I was in a forest like the one in the Hunger Games arena and every friend I've ever had was there. Orange guy made it a total of 3 fucking seconds. He once called Collete a bitch in reality. That was tense. So she got dreamrevenge via my head? Anyway, there was more meth during the Hunger Game bonanza that was my dream and I casually woke up and remember all of it.

The only thing I don't understand is that if I knew it was a dream, why didn't I meth up? I mean, I know the shit ain't real, but when you dream you know you experience it like a sex dream. Dream me must be a real stiff. How do I know this? When I wake up...

Thang stands out like Tim Tebow at the Rally for Reason.

Which reminds me that Miller High Life brats are no longer ANYWHERE. I can't find them. I even looked online. I think this is a god damn conspiracy. Some anti-beer a-hole needs to keep their beerless sausage to themselves. Everyone knows the best beer is the kind that makes the sausage taste SO fine.

Okay, sorry for the strange twist of metaphor...

I'm done.

Because I just loudmouth about bullshit, here's an EddieC Recommends, catch-up style:

Hoodies: Just kidding. Really though, I just bought a sweater, or is it a swearshirt -- I don't know the difference, from Gap and it is pretty metro. The poll thus far is girls love it, dudes think its sexy in a man way. Anyway, it looks from the front as though there's a hoodie. There isn't, so don't shoot me, bro! They're also great for 34 degree weather on Spring Breaks. What the fuck, Earth? I think the seasons are reversing.

Tony Lucca: Vote for him on The Voice. I saw him live a couple years ago. Christina said he was one dimensional, then his version of "In Your Eyes" hit number one on the iTunes charts. Vote for him cause he's good. Or because Justin said so, just to piss off Christina.

New Advertising Demographics Coordinators: For Obama 2012. I was on Rage Against the Machine Radio on Pandora and that oil prices shit came on for Obama's campaign. Fucking oops. A wee-bit off on that one, buddy.

Pinterest: My wife cooks, decorates, and does all the stuff from that web site. And I reap the benefits. Yes.

Flynnterest: I have a coworker, last name Flynn. I'm going to open up a fanpage called Flynnterest.

Brewster's: Chocolate stout + ice cream = cream dream team.

Man Maids: I had this idea too. Then I looked it up, and someone thought of it first. But I don't know if they're willing to clean in a speedo for 20% more, a thong for 40% more, or for 100% more in the birthday suit?

Opposing Amendment One: I cannot wait to vote against hatred, stupidity, and bigotry. I hope now that Romney is more or less nominated, anti-gay Repubs don't show up.

Sexual Chocolate: Foothills Brewing. Best beer ever.

The Killing: Another great AMC show. About, you guessed it: article + killing. Makes it sound more important.

Anyway, here are some photos of myself and the littl'un. Her second birthday is in 10 days. I will be taking a picture of her every day until her third, then putting them into a video. Can't wait for that!

Evie loves to drive!



...and golf.



...and being crazy.



...but not being in the hospital for surgery.



She does like slaving daddy!



...and passing out after big dinners.



...and her 'uncle' Justin (who is still trying to figure things out with Ashley!



...and cheering!



Cheers 'til next time.

I find it silly how much people say if justice works then Zimmerman will be found guilty when in fact justice is one of those bullshit terms people used to subjectively solidify their premeditated beliefs on something they all know about? The fact is there are so little facts. We can bullshit ourselves into believing that this dude is going to be found guilty when in fact the judge may dismiss the case. They probably won't because of the fear people have of others going batshit over the fact that hey, you can't prosecute someone in a he-said-she-said.

I just find it silly this case has gotten more attention than a soldier who murdered and burned an entire family. And then he gets brought back to the United States. And we as Americans have the right to talk about justice?

The Killing is a good example of this. A mayoral candidate is shot when people think he killed an 'innocent' teenager Rosie Larson. I even cheered as they arrested his ass at a campaign stop. Yeah, he was shot; now he is paralyzed. Oh, and innocent. Maybe. And an teacher was beaten and who the fuck knows what happened to him. He was innocent too. Oops. A simple prop to occupy my time.

I just hope nothing happens when a man who killed a teenager goes free.